Gabby Giffords: Congresswoman whose January shooting sparked a national conversation about national conversations, and whether it was worth having them. The conclusion being that it wasn't.
Mitt Romney: Spent 50 minutes every night carefully scrubbing every inch of himself clean after meeting real, everyday Americans.
Anthony Weiner: The fallout from the former New York congressman’s sexting scandal scuttled Weiner’s career and surely was embarrassing enough to prevent any other politician from ever conducting themself with so little discretion.
Rick Perry: Texas governor and Republican presidential candidate who carefully positioned himself as the anti-Romney by making no sense in debate performances, repeatedly embarrassing himself, and honing a widely disrespected public image.
Barack Obama: Really hit his stride in his third year in office, prompting a record 214 angry e-mail forwards from your grandfather about how the president was bent on undermining the economy, the country in general, and Christianity.
Michele Bachmann: Minnesota congresswoman known for her strong social conservatism as well as her kindness in providing foster care for 23 children and one closeted gay man.
Newt Gingrich: With his sudden rise to the top of GOP polls, many experts now say Gingrich could become the nation's first shit golem president.