There are 35 Senate seats up in the 2020 election, most of which are currently held by Republicans, with the Democrats hoping to flip enough seats to take control of the upper chamber of Congress. The Onion takes a look at the key 2020 Senate races to watch. If you’re more compelled by the contests in the lowly peasant chamber of Congress, check out House races to watch here.
Doug Jones vs. Tommy Tuberville (Alabama): Democrat Jones remains a heavy underdog against any candidate who isn’t a confirmed child molester.
Martha McSally vs. Mark Kelly (Arizona): McSally has criticized former astronaut Kelly of dual loyalties to Earth and space.
Lindsey Graham vs. Jaime Harrison (South Carolina): It remains to be seen how Harrison’s relatively low name recognition fares against Graham’s disastrously high name recognition.
David Perdue vs. Jon Ossoff (Georgia): Democratic challenger Ossoff hopes to prove to voters that he’s capable of narrowly losing both the House and Senate races.
Susan Collins vs. Sara Gideon (Maine): Collins hopes to win over Trump-skeptical voters by reminding them of how often she acts like she might be about to stand up to him.
Mitch McConnell vs. Amy McGrath (Kentucky): McGrath is poised to defeat McConnell in a humiliatingly large landslide, if the election results follow current Democrat delusional fantasies.
Thom Tillis vs. Cal Cunningham (North Carolina): In a race of alliterative names, it really is anyone’s guess.
John Cornyn vs. MJ Hegar (Texas): It’s been 30 years since a Democrat won in Texas, so it’s about time for Hegar to also lose.
Kelly Loeffler vs. Doug Collins vs. Raphael Warnock (Georgia special election): Even if she loses this tossup race, Loeffler can celebrate an extremely successful 2020 after receiving a Senate appointment and, unrelated, getting remarkably lucky in the stock market.