45-Year-Old To Help Candidate Understand Youth Vote

FAIR OAKS, CA—In his effort to gain critical insight into the priorities and inclinations of millennials, campaign sources confirmed Monday that seventh district congressional challenger Doug Ose enlisted the expertise of a 45-year-old political strategist to help reach the youth vote. “Young voters in this country aren’t interested in lectures; they want a candidate who has a plan and will engage with them directly through social media,” said a man currently deep into his fifth decade of life, who was born during the first year of the Nixon administration and graduated from high school more than a quarter century ago. “Eighteen- to 29-year-olds aren’t watching TV; they’re on their phones and online. That’s where your message needs to be.” At press time, the man, who has been married 20 years and remembers watching the Berlin Wall fall during his sophomore year of college, was stressing the need to create a viral campaign ad.

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