PHILADELPHIA—Devoting a large portion of his speech to the “pioneering, stiffy-inducing” all-female quartet, Vice President Joe Biden regaled the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night with the rousing story of the metal band Vixen breaking hard rock’s glass ceiling in the late 1980s. “You gotta understand, for the first time, you saw these four smokin’ hot chicks who were not only easy on the eyes, but could rock just as hard as any dudes,” said Biden, adding that he quickly learned to appreciate the female metal band’s talent while “yanking [his] crank” to the music video for “Edge Of A Broken Heart.” “Vixen sometimes didn’t get a fair shake from critics—hell, I might’ve done a whole lotta shit-talking after a few too many Schlitzes and a dry spell in the tang department. But the fact is, they paved the way for many of the metal babes who came after them. And that, amigos, is fucking progress in Diamond Joe’s book.” Biden also reportedly reminisced about the time he tried to get backstage to bone “any takers” during Vixen’s 1988 Dover, DE tour stop, but was “cockblocked” by security.


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