‘Get A Load Of This’

WASHINGTON—Leaning toward the Speaker of the House during the State of the Union address and holding up the device, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly urged Paul Ryan to check out the nude shower scene from Porky’s on his smartphone Tuesday. “Hey Paul, you gotta get a load of this,” said Biden, who gestured for the GOP congressman to take a good look at the video clip from the 1981 sex comedy, the audio of which, sources confirmed, could be faintly heard beneath the sound of the president’s address. “Can you believe the rack on that one? That is a grade-A set of hooters right there. You can even see some bush. Man, they sure don’t make locker room scenes like this anymore.” At press time, Biden reportedly offered a bottle of Lubriderm to Ryan before proceeding to pump a large quantity of the lotion into his own palm.

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