Candidate Profile: Democratic VP Nominee Kamala Harris

Illustration for article titled Candidate Profile: Democratic VP Nominee Kamala Harris

Senator Kamala Harris was announced Tuesday as Joe Biden’s vice presidential pick for the 2020 Democratic Party ticket. The Onion takes a look at Harris’ background, political history, and what she brings to the 2020 election.

Advertisement

Ethnicity: Perfect, just perfect.


Childhood Dream: Waiting for the president to die in office.


Greatest Liability: Prominent association with Joe Biden.


Progressive Bona Fides: Provided housing to thousands of low-level offenders she convicted.

Advertisement

Signature Debate Moment: Nailing clarinet solo in talent portion.


How She Clinched VP Slot: Bonded with Biden over shared experience running extremely unsuccessful presidential campaigns.

Advertisement

Bite Force: 230 PSI.


Chances She’ll Shoot Friend In Face On Hunting Trip: Low.


Number Of Times Biden Has Called Her Michelle So Far: 23.


Contribution To Ticket: Centrist counterbalance to Biden’s centrism.

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter