Illustration for article titled Candidate With No Chance Of Winning Nomination Settles On Goal Of Crushing Hickenlooper Campaign

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Laying out his vision for 2020, Rep. Tim Ryan (D-OH) told supporters Monday that with no chance of securing his party’s nomination for the presidency, he would instead settle for absolutely demolishing the campaign of his fellow Democrat John Hickenlooper. “Let’s face it, I’m probably not going to win a single delegate in this race, but I can still go door to door in Iowa telling people that John Hickenlooper represents everything that is wrong with America,” said Ryan, who explained that upon reviewing his poll numbers, he decided to invest nearly all of his campaign funds in opposition research and attack ads aimed at taking down the Colorado governor. “I’m gonna come out swinging at that fucker and hit him with everything I’ve got. Has he had an affair? Has he taken big donations from Wall Street? I have no idea, but I’m gonna try pinning that and much worse on him just to see if it sticks. Mark my words, I am in this race to beat John Hickenlooper, and I’m staying in it until the day he withdraws.” Ryan went on to pledge that if the two of them ever made it to the debate stage, he would devote his entire time to interrupting every word Hickenlooper speaks.


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