Comey: ‘What Can I Say, I’m Just A Catty Bitch From New Jersey And I Live For Drama’

Nation Confused After James Comey Dedicates Entire Memoir To In-Depth Retelling Of Martha Stewart Insider Trading Controversy

‘I’ll Make Those Bastards Pay,’ Teary-Eyed Mueller Whispers Into Locket Containing Photo Of James Comey

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone