Illustration for article titled Congress’s Agenda For The Upcoming Term

Congress just returned from recess, and they are faced with a hugely ambitious agenda. Here’s what they will focus on over the next several months.

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Pass a replacement of DACA for Trump to sign and campaign against in 2020


Vote on some shit about wetlands that Congressman Keith Rothfus won’t shut up about

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Decide what each of them would be if they were all candy bars


Pass a sweeping healthcare law specifically designed to keep John McCain alive long enough to vote for a full repeal of Obamacare

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Get bill that says tax somewhere on it to president’s desk


Shatter the debt ceiling


Let loose with some free-form indignant shouting


Come together as a united bipartisan front to name a few post offices after Jerry Lewis

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Though they have a packed schedule, lawmakers would still like to strip healthcare from 22 million Americans when they have a free minute

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