WASHINGTON—Clamoring to get an unobstructed view across the South Lawn, a large crowd reportedly gathered outside the White House Friday hoping to catch a brief glimpse of President Obama naked. “While I’m here, it’d be really nice to just get a quick peek of the president, maybe changing in the master bedroom or coming out of the shower,” said tourist Ted Hamill of Flagstaff, AZ, one of hundreds standing outside the Executive Residence, shading their eyes, craning their necks, and keeping their cameras at the ready in hopes of getting even a short glance at the commander-in-chief in the buff. “Even if he’s not completely naked, it’d be cool just to get a decent look at Obama in his undershirt and boxers. Or maybe he’ll have a towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else. That would be a really great Washington D.C. memory for my whole family.” At press time, the crowd reportedly uttered a disappointed sigh at only seeing a fully nude Arne Duncan pass by the East Bedroom window.

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