Illustration for article titled Dirty, Bearded Vince Foster Bursts Through Doors Of Clinton Fundraiser

COLUMBUS, OH—Clad in a tattered suit as he limped through the Hyatt ballroom toward the stunned Democratic presidential nominee, a dirty, bearded Vince Foster reportedly burst through the doors of a Clinton campaign fundraiser Monday to confront his former law partner. “Surprised to see me, Hillary? You thought you finished me off, didn’t you?” said the one-time deputy White House counsel, shouting that he had information that would bring Clinton down once and for all as he shuffled past tables filled with dozens of formally attired Democratic donors who fell silent at his presence. “Maybe everybody here would like to hear a story—I think they would. It’s all over for you and Bill now. Whitewater! Ron Brown! Benghazi! The charade ends today.” At press time, Foster had tackled and subdued Clinton after she grabbed a Secret Service agent’s gun and attempted to escape through the crowded banquet hall.


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