WASHINGTON—Explaining that he found the discrepancies “delightful” and “nothing to be embarrassed about,” Emmanuel Macron admitted during a chat with American leaders Tuesday that he was charmed by the little differences between Islamophobia in France and the United States. “In a broad sense, our cultures both share a similar passion for the stigmatization and exclusion of Muslims, but there are definitely a few subtle distinctions,” said the 40-year-old French president, noting that geography, history, and religion have likely all played roles in weaving the rich tapestry of anti-Muslim sentiment unique to each nation. “In France, we’ve probably done a slightly better job of normalizing Islamophobia in our mainstream political discourse—I don’t mean to be rude, because of course, we still both treat them like terrorists. However, our hateful rhetoric tends to flow off the tongue a little easier, whereas Americans tend to be a bit more crass in the way they explicitly despise every member of the faith.” At press time, reports confirmed Macron was observed stifling a giggle as National Security Adviser John Bolton garishly threatened to bomb Iran during hors d’oeuvres.
More from The Onion