Illustration for article titled Exhausted, Defeated Voters Finally Beginning To Relate To Hillary Clinton

WASHINGTON—Explaining that they have finally started to feel a connection with the Democratic Party nominee, millions of defeated and utterly exhausted voters admitted to reporters Wednesday they are now starting to relate to Hillary Clinton. “I never thought I had much in common with her before, but after waking up today feeling so drained and beaten, I think I’m beginning to see that she and I really are a lot alike,” said 34-year-old Chicago resident Anthony Pallister, echoing the sentiments of Americans across the country who claimed that over the course of the last 24 hours, the feeling that they had suffered through a long, wearying ordeal only to be summarily rejected had caused them to notice many similarities between themselves and the 69-year-old presidential candidate. “The more I think about how dejected and overcome I feel, the more I begin to see myself and my viewpoints in Hillary Clinton. In fact, I don’t know the last time I’ve related to a candidate this much.” Many Americans went on to confirm that their perception of Hillary Clinton being completely out of touch with the majority of the country has now made the former secretary of state far more likable.


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