Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions:


“We have some bad, bad people in this country.” -Donald Trump

There are, in fact, bad people living in the United States.


“It’s funny, but it’s also really troubling.” -Hillary Clinton

Although specifically directed at Trump’s view on the validity of national election results, this remark could reasonably describe any event over the past 16 months.


“Such a nasty woman.” -Donald Trump

It’s unclear whether Trump was referring to Clinton, one of the women who have accused him of sexual assault, or one of the millions of other American women he has serially insulted and disrespected, but in any case, it is false.

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“The NAFTA deal signed by her husband is one of the worst deals ever made of any kind signed by anybody.” -Donald Trump

Look, we’ve definitely fact-checked this one already. We’re not doing it again.


“The central issue in this election: namely, what kind of country are we going to be?” -Hillary Clinton

The American people have already decided this country will be a bitterly divided one.

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“I didn’t even apologize to my wife, who is sitting right here.” -Donald Trump

Undoubtedly true.


“But, sir, there is a tradition in this country; in fact, one of the prides of this country is the peaceful transition of power.” -Chris Wallace

National pride ceased existing sometime around the fourth month of this election.

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“Our country is stagnant. We’ve lost our jobs.” -Donald Trump

Actually, jobs in the field of fact-checking have skyrocketed.


“The prairie falcon is common in the western United States, and feeds on squirrels, prairie dogs, and rabbits as well as smaller birds.” -Donald Trump

This is true, although Trump failed to mention that the prairie falcon has also been known to feed on lizards and is the only large falcon species found exclusively in North America.

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“I’ll keep you in suspense [about whether I will concede the election].” -Donald Trump

False. He’ll keep everyone in abject terror.

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