Barack Obama announced Tuesday that his presidential library will be built on the South Side of Chicago, with construction on the ambitious project due for completion by 2020 or 2021. Here are some features the new library will contain:

  • Interactive NSA exhibit allows visitors to browse recordings of own phone calls
  • Laptop displaying authentic original HealthCare.gov error page from launch on October 1, 2013
  • White House press secretary Josh Earnest on hand to deflect visitors’ questions about any of the exhibits
  • Aging simulator that enables visitors to see how eight years as commander-in-chief would ravage their own features
  • Onsite cafeteria, Axelrod’s
  • Timeline of library’s construction explaining how builders inherited poor foundation, materials from previous lot
  • “Dinosaurs: From Dawn To Dusk” exhibit that explores the president’s theories on why dinosaurs became extinct
  • Audio tour that includes 180-minute defense of legal justifications for intervening in Libya without congressional approval
  • Taxidermied body of Bo Obama
  • First draft of 2004 DNC speech titled “Hoping Is A Good Thing For All Of The People”
  • Short documentary film featuring Obama forlornly looking at the camera and mouthing “I tried” for 10 minutes

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