DETROIT—Hoping the activity would help the presidential contenders burn off some excess energy, Fox News producers reportedly attempted to tire out the group of aggressive GOP candidates before Thursday’s debate by letting them run around outside. “You could tell they had a lot of pent-up energy, because after we opened the back door to the theatre, Cruz just bolted out, followed by Trump, Kasich, and Rubio,” said producer Douglas Bowman, adding that the wound-up candidates quickly burned off steam by racing around, jumping up and down, and wrestling on the ground with each other in the lot behind Detroit’s Fox Theatre. “At first, Cruz wouldn’t stop spinning around and screaming policy proposals at the top of his lungs, but he got worn out pretty quickly and went to join Rubio, who was whipping clumps of dirt at a garbage can. I tried to keep an eye on them, but Kasich still got a bloody nose when Trump tried to put him in a headlock.” At press time, a tuckered-out Trump was reportedly dozing off right in the middle of an insult.

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