GOP Senators Argue It’s Unconstitutional To Be Forced To Work On A Tuesday

Illustration for article titled GOP Senators Argue It’s Unconstitutional To Be Forced To Work On A Tuesday

WASHINGTON—Stressing that the proceedings violated clear principles handed down by the Founding Fathers, GOP senators took to the chamber floor in the lead-up to former President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial to argue that it is unconstitutional to be forced to work on a Tuesday. “We would urge our esteemed colleagues to recall that the Bill of Rights was specifically formulated to guarantee our right to kick back and relax on a Tuesday,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, urging the immediate postponement of the trial until a date in which all participants had availed themselves of their legally protected rights to get their “batteries recharged” through a little quality rest and relaxation. “The Framers’ intent is clear: After a tough Monday, it’s important that Americans can decompress, sleep in, and take a nice little siesta before the midweek slump, The fact that Democrats are choosing to politicize this and drag us in on a beautiful Tuesday is frankly unconscionable.” McConnell went on to ask for an adjournment of the trial after contending that many Democrats had defied crucial precedents forbidding them from speaking to him before he had his coffee.

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