THE REALM OF MISDOING—Cackling with glee while observing the turmoil brought about by his consternating ways, enchanted goblin Grumblethor the Mischievous—creator of the world’s chaos and confusion—revealed Wednesday that he is pleased with the mayhem his magical antics have wrought upon White House–FBI relations. “Look at the halfwits in Washington as they fall under my bewitching spell, sniping at each other like the hapless fools they are—Oh, it has all been so devilishly simple!” said the Lord of Mischief and Mayhem, peering into his smoke-filled Globe of Deceit with visible delight as resentful tweets appeared from Andrew McCabe, Donald Trump, John O. Brennan, and James Comey, among others. “Soon, I will befuddle the dunces in the Supreme Court into posting Facebook statuses about their anger toward Congress, and so Grumblethor’s diabolical plans will come to fruition! Fye-dee-dee, dum-dee-dee, another triumph for rascally me!” At press time, Grumblethor was seen cantering in joy through his Cavern of Disorder after a minion brought word that millions of Americans believed that a “deep state” in the government pulled levers behind the scenes.
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