NEW YORK—Repeatedly emphasizing how her proposed policies would benefit middle-aged fathers of three who work in the public sector, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton appeared to be tailoring each of her answers during Thursday night’s primary debate to a single unclaimed New York superdelegate, sources reported. “As your next president, I promise to make America work for all of us—not just the billionaires, but also middle-class families working to pay off a 30-year mortgage on a postwar duplex in Queens,” said Clinton, adding that, now more than ever, the federal government needed to reduce the burden of student debt on those who had just taken their firstborn daughter on a tour of several colleges upstate. “In addition to reinvesting in our country’s infrastructure—including that section of the Lexington Avenue line that gets so congested on the way to work every morning—I vow to strengthen Medicare and Social Security, providing a lifeline for families caring for an elderly, mobility-impaired aunt who lives in Hoboken. We also need to do more to help small businesses for every American who’s ever toyed with the idea of quitting their day job and opening up an East Village gastropub.” At press time, Clinton was reportedly urging New Yorkers to vote for her next Tuesday after dropping their youngest off at the Henry Gradstein elementary school.
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