‘Satisfactory,’ Says Candidate

MIAMI—Striding briskly onto the stage and walking directly toward the podium without stopping to wave or smile at the cheering crowd in attendance, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton reportedly issued a single-word victory speech after significantly widening her delegate lead on Super Tuesday. “Satisfactory,” the former first lady said in a flat, firm tone of voice while standing expressionless at the lectern, her unwavering gaze fixed straight forward. According to reports, the candidate then remained stationary at the podium for roughly a minute while the applause and chants around her steadily died down, blinking exactly three times before turning around and walking off the stage without saying another word. Following the rally, sources confirmed that Clinton sent a celebratory email to her supporters nationwide that stated only “Not yet sufficient.”

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