Illustration for article titled Hope Hicks Praying She Not Still In Same Shitty Job By Time She Hits 30

WASHINGTON—Saying she only had two years left to find a “real career,” White House Communications Director Hope Hicks was reportedly praying Friday that she wouldn’t be in the same shitty job by the time she hit 30. “Overseeing President Trump’s public relations strategy is fine for now as a placeholder, but if I’m still doing this in a couple years, that’s gonna be really embarrassing,” said Hicks, adding that while she was interested in working in journalism or maybe television production, she would certainly go to graduate school for business if the only alternative was “rotting away in this dead-end gig.” “There are guys still here in their 40s, and they just seem so unhappy. I can’t let that happen to me. I gotta get out of here if I ever want to make something of myself.” Hicks went on to say she’d be surprised if her miserable boss didn’t call it quits even before she did.


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