Betsy DeVos was confirmed by a 51-50 Senate vote Tuesday to run the Department of Education. Here’s how President Trump’s controversial cabinet pick plans to change the nation’s education policy:


Relax unrealistically strict standards for secretary of education


Modify Title IX to allow invisible hand of the market to sort out any student rape cases that may arise


Identify at-risk students and do nothing whatsoever


Ensure that all students, regardless of background, receive the opportunity to bask in the shining light of Christ

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Let low-income parents choose which one of their children gets to go to school


Create emergency vocational program for cabinet members who lack proficiency and are way out of their depth

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Place power for establishing gym class floor hockey rules back in states’ hands where it belongs


Require free- and reduced-lunch recipients to prostrate themselves before the principal at mealtimes

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Steer tax dollars away from failing, fundamentally defective public school students