Congressional Republicans have repeatedly stated their intention to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act soon after Donald Trump takes office. The Onion outlines how that process would work.


STEP 1:

Bring witnesses to congressional hearing to testify about the horrors of being able to afford their cancer treatment


STEP 2:

Obama forced to watch as Mitch McConnell shreds each individual page of the Affordable Care Act in front of him

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STEP 3:

Hold press conference to remind Americans we all have to die sometime


STEP 4:

Draft new healthcare bill with, uh, vouchers, maybe? Yeah, vouchers sound good. Put them in there.

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STEP 5:

Double-check to make sure there’s no women stuff in there


STEP 6:

Obstruct new healthcare bill a few times purely out of habit


STEP 7:

Do a quick 30,000-page copy edit


STEP 8:

Part where 20 million people lose health insurance


STEP 9:

Republican leaders take celebratory photo with bunch of sick Americans who can no longer afford treatment

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STEP 10:

Guy with red lump on thigh guesses he’ll just wait and see


STEP 11:

Paul Ryan goes home and hugs family with firm belief he has done good and important work

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