Here’s some advice for talking to your child about the shocking outcome of the 2016 presidential election:

Children often understand more than we think, so start off by asking them if they have any idea what the fuck is happening.


Put their mind at ease by confirming that the results of this election aren’t the end of the world in any strictly literal sense.

Don’t be afraid to openly share your wine with them.

Avoid touching on any topic that might be distressing to a young child, such as the electoral college.


Reassure them that no matter what, the adults in their life will always feel obligated to tell them everything’s going to be all right.

Explain that testosterone is a naturally occurring steroid hormone that makes a person more aggressive and reactive.


Remind them that one day when they’re older, they’ll understand all of this a lot better and will get to decide for themselves whether or not they should forgive us.

Acquaint your daughter with the word “motherfucker” to equip her for what lies ahead.


If they have additional questions, direct them to your Twitter feed.