As Donald Trump’s poll numbers continue to fall, many wonder how the GOP presidential nominee can turn his campaign around before Election Day. Here are some ways Trump aims to regain his footing:


Bring on new campaign manager to oversee next several staff shakeups


Expand support base from disgruntled working-class whites to merely perturbed working-class whites

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Distance self from feud with parents of deceased Muslim-American soldier to better focus on feud with all Muslim Americans


Limit interactions with the media to one firestorm per day


Hope that the next Hillary Clinton email leak is pretty fucking amazing


Campaign door-to-door and hold local town hall events to talk with everyday Americans about the ethnicities that are personally affecting them

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Allude to specific policies once or twice more


Rein in disastrous, gaffe-prone Tiffany Trump


Ease tensions between warring factions of own psyche


Wait for simple statistical variation to produce a few polls more favorable to campaign

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