Illustration for article titled ‘I’ll Make Those Bastards Pay,’ Teary-Eyed Mueller Whispers Into Locket Containing Photo Of James Comeyem/em

WASHINGTON—After issuing indictments against former Trump campaign associates Paul Manafort and Rick Gates on Monday, a teary-eyed Robert S. Mueller III reportedly whispered, “I’ll make those bastards pay,” into a locket containing a photo of James Comey. “I’ll never forget what those sons of bitches did to you,” said the special counsel, his voice trembling as a teardrop fell upon the small silver case that held a black-and-white photo and lock of hair from the former FBI director. “I won’t stop until every last one of them gets what they deserve. Don’t you worry, my dear James. Just leave it all to me—I promise I won’t let you down.” At press time, Mueller squeezed the locket in his fist for a moment before gently kissing it and tucking it back under his shirt.


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