John Kelly Resigns In Last-Ditch Effort To Save His And Trump’s Friendship

Illustration for article titled John Kelly Resigns In Last-Ditch Effort To Save His And Trump’s Friendship

WASHINGTON—Calling the decision necessary to protect the one relationship he values above all others, White House chief of staff John Kelly told reporters Monday that he will resign in a last-ditch effort to save his and President Trump’s friendship. “It’s been a great honor to serve my country and the Trump administration, but nothing is more important than the strong bond shared by two longtime friends, not even a job, so rather than jeopardize that deep connection any longer, I have decided to leave my post,” said Kelly, noting that lately his relationship with the president has been strained due to the boss–employee dynamic they’ve been trying to keep professional over the last year and a half, adding that he looks forward to returning to the days when he and his best friend would spend hours talking on the phone or taking day trips to go antiquing. “When I started at the White House, we promised each other that we would still get down to the Potomac every now and then and go fishing. But we never went, not once, and the longer I’m here, the more I feel the two of us slipping further away from each other. Well, I’m not going to let that happen.” Kelly added that he would continue to be a sympathetic ear whenever Trump needed to get something off his chest about work, but from now on, he would be “serving at the pleasure of friendship.”

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