Illustration for article titled Key Players In Trump’s Impeachment Trial

The House of Representatives approved articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump on December 18, 2019, then sent those articles to the Senate for a formal trial, a process that has involved a whirlwind of figures from Congress, the legal world, and Trump’s orbit. The Onion provides a guide to the key players in Trump’s impeachment trial.

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Hunter Biden:

Lovable ne’er-do-well scamp.


Ken Starr:

Trump’s defense attorney is expected to argue against statements made during the Clinton impeachment by special prosecutor Ken Starr.

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Mitch McConnell:

Honestly kind of bored by this cakewalk.


Devin Nunes:

A staunch defender of the president, the Republican congressman has a deep connection to the case both as an investigator and co-conspirator.

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Mitt Romney:

GOP senator considered most likely to make the loudest sigh before acquitting Trump.

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Chuck Schumer:

The Senate minority leader wants to hear from witnesses in the White House, but we all want things we’ll never get.

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Alan Dershowitz:

As a servant of the law, finds it impossible to sit on the sidelines while a wealthy sex predator faces consequences.

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John Bolton:

Trump’s former advisor has agreed to offer explosive testimony against the president for $5 per word.

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Nancy Pelosi:

The hesitant speaker of the House eventually pushed through articles of impeachment, while making it clear she never thought through any of this.

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Donald Trump:

Donald Trump is the 45th and current president of the United States.


Adam Schiff:

As the lead impeachment manager, there was no better choice to provide the heavy-handedness, Russia hysteria, and whiff of corruption the Democrats needed to ensure the nation tuned out.

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Mrs. Wintersby:

The longtime White House maid is said to have been a witness to many of the events in question. But is she more than she seems?

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