WASHINGTON—Zigzagging through the State Dining Room in an effort to avoid bath time, a naked Eric Trump ran through his father’s first state dinner Tuesday pursued by a screaming au pair, White House guests have confirmed. The official ceremony to honor visiting French president Emmanuel Macron was reportedly interrupted midway through the main course when the commander in chief’s second-born son, who was entirely nude and covered in soap bubbles, burst through the double doors, immediately followed by a visibly flustered 17-year-old domestic servant who yelled at him to get back in the tub. Multiple eyewitnesses told reporters that when the young Trump crawled between the legs of Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-LA) and hid underneath the table, the au pair ordered her charge to come out and threatened to revoke his television privileges for the night if he didn’t. The childcare worker reportedly came close to catching Eric after he charged out from the other side of the table, shattering a piece of rare china and causing a butler to spill wine all over Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, but the 34-year-old boy managed to escape and hide behind a Washington National Opera singer who was there to provide after-dinner entertainment. At press time, sources said the president had told the au pair it was okay and was allowing Eric to sit on his lap while he spoon-fed him the nectarine tart they were having for dessert.
More from The Onion