WASHINGTON—Saying they just wanted a short breather before having to dive right back into national politics, Americans begged Monday for the midterm elections to be pushed back to delay start of the 2020 presidential bids. “Please, the later you can schedule the general elections, the more time we’ll have until we turn on the TV and inevitably see that first candidate kick off their campaign for the White House,” said 325 million Americans, adding that even just putting a few more days of padding before the midterms would let them rest before having to endure two straight years of nonstop presidential campaigning. “Honestly, the idea of casting a ballot tomorrow and then immediately getting hit with 12 presidential hopefuls who will never even make it past primaries is way too much to handle. So, if someone could please just close down the polls until after the holidays, it would really be appreciated.” At press time, the nation added that it would even be fine to push midterms as far back as 2020 because they already knew the current sitting president was just going to get reelected anyways.
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