Illustration for article titled New Trump Campaign Ad Claims That Illegal Immigrants Currently Murdering You With Knifeem/em

WASHINGTON—Drawing the ire of critics who decried the spot as “misleading” and “racially charged,” a new campaign ad released Friday by President Trump claimed that illegal immigrants are currently murdering you with a knife. “Thousands of homicidal MS-13 members have already poured over the Southern border and are at this very moment stabbing you repeatedly in the torso and stomach with a butcher’s knife,” said the ad, which urged voters to use the remainder of their strength to crawl to their nearest polling location before they bled out. “Several arteries have already been punctured, but before these monsters end your suffering they’re dragging your loved ones into the basement to flay them alive in front of you. You’re presently struggling against your restraints, but there’s nothing you can do. Soon you will begin to black out from despair and pain. The last thing you see in your final moments is Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer standing over you, laughing maniacally.” At press time, numerous Trump supporters had praised the ad for finally telling the truth about how they themselves had been killed by immigrants.


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