WASHINGTON—After taking in more than $150 million in September, Sen. Barack Obama's historic fundraising drive has continued to completely devastate the causes of public radio, the environment, and civil liberty defense, sources reported Tuesday. "We've been offering twice as many tote bags, wall calendars, and handsome mugs, but no matter what we do, Obama keeps raking it in," said Azalea Kim, spokeswoman for the World Wildlife Fund. "We had a whole campaign ready to end poaching in the Bering Sea and runoff in the Coral Triangle. That's all gone now." Kim went on to say that she's delighted that the Democratic candidate has garnered the support of so many Americans, but seriously now, enough is enough.
More from The Onion