WASHINGTON—Emphasizing the importance of providing young people with the skills they need to make good decisions as they mature into adulthood, Vice President Mike Pence held a press conference Thursday to unveil a new campaign educating teens about the dangers of premarital eye contact. “This new initiative will teach our nation’s teenagers the importance of waiting until marriage before looking their partner directly in the eyes,” said Pence, adding that the $75 million “No Peeking”—also known as “Save Your Gaze For Marriage”—campaign will help students resist the social pressure to share glances they often feel long before they’re ready to be joined for life in holy matrimony. “Thanks to the encroaching secular influence of TV, the movies, and, for all we know, the internet as well, today’s young people are constantly bombarded with images of people gazing shamelessly at each other—sometimes even making prolonged eye contact with more than one person. This program encourages them to abstain from that behavior by focusing their eyes on safe alternatives, such as the floor, the middle distance, or a bible passage of their choosing.” Pence also promised that high school students would feel far greater satisfaction by waiting until their wedding night to learn their spouse’s eye color.

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