WASHINGTON—Explaining that as president he would ensure his policies didn’t leave any Americans behind, Senator Bernie Sanders reportedly unveiled plans Wednesday for a job-training program that would provide meaningful work to low-skilled op-ed writers. “I understand that if I win the presidency, many Americans are concerned about the effect that changing economic priorities will have on their jobs, which is why I’m committed to making sure that the nation’s unskilled columnists receive every opportunity to learn material skills that will enable them to find a rewarding position,” said Sanders, adding that his platform allocated hundreds of millions of dollars a year to ensure workers like opinion columnists who lacked qualifications for any skilled labor job would receive instruction in a career of their choice, such as nursing, childcare, or construction. “It’s true that not every industry makes sense for the world we need to build, whether it’s coal mining, private health insurance, or writing histrionic editorials with little factual basis in our nation’s newspapers. It pains me to see so many op-ed writers out there who have received so little training or education that they have no capacity to do viable work. But I believe that these op-ed writers and editorial board members want to be productive members of society, and my presidency will do everything it can to help them find work with dignity.” Sanders added that it was an unfortunate result of the U.S. economic system that so many Americans found themselves stuck in low-skilled op-ed writing jobs in the first place.