Many states are pushing for stricter voter identification policies at the polls, while critics argue such requirements are unconstitutional and used as a means of voter suppression. Here are some pros and cons of voter ID laws.

PRO

  • Could help temper the country’s embarrassingly high voter turnout rates
  • Less time-consuming form of discrimination than literacy test
  • Nationwide surge in ID demand could create up to four new jobs at DMV
  • Guarantees only those bearing the signet ring of the Knights Templar will be able to vote more than once
  • Current system gives far too little power to septuagenarian volunteers
  • The most palatable facade we’ve got for government’s racial bias

CON

  • Phrase “poll tax” has better ring to it
  • Puts undue burden on privileged elite to choose elected officials
  • Doesn’t completely eliminate possibility of undesirable populations from voting
  • Disenfranchises the countless Americans who accidentally left a bar tab open at Stilettos last night
  • Non-citizens could probably give the electoral process a fresh set of eyes
  • Representative government not worth totally giving up on just yet

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