Each year, the White House hosts an Independence Day celebration. Here is what the Trump White House has planned this year.

8:00 a.m.

Staff present the president with a one-page report laying out what the Fourth of July is

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9:00 a.m.

Military honor guard to fire a volley for each of Trump’s 304 electoral votes

10:00 a.m.

Children gather on the South Lawn for the annual White House Roman Candle Hunt

10:30 a.m.

President Trump signs the original Declaration of Independence

11:00 a.m.

First Lady Melania Trump takes Barron to Six Flags for the day

12:00 p.m.

Speech by President Trump honoring veterans and promising to create more of them than any other president in history

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3:30 p.m.

Reince Priebus to be fired seconds after taking a huge bite of potato salad

4:00 p.m.

Reveal of Ivanka Trump’s all-new American flag, which she designed with working women in mind

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5:00 p.m.

Email sent out by Sean Spicer letting everyone know that he’s still got plenty of burgers at his backyard barbecue if anyone wants to come by

8:00 p.m.

Send Eric Trump to bed with a stomachache after eating too many sparklers

8:30 p.m.

Senior economist Greg Leiserson performs beautiful a capella version of “God Bless The USA”

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9:00 p.m.

Fireworks display will serve as strong show of force toward D.C. suburbs