AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts. “Shortly after we arrived, Tim managed to get out of our sight, but after an extensive search of the facilities, one of our interns found him moving down the assembly line between several radial tires,” said senior campaign advisor Mike Henry, adding that Kaine could be seen smiling and laughing as the belt carried him slowly along toward the quality-control workers. “Once we found Tim, the foreman quickly shut down the entire line. But even then, it took us a while to coax him to climb off the belt by promising to give him a Crunch bar—he likes those a lot. We had to repeatedly assure him that no one was mad. I think everybody is just glad he didn’t get hurt.” Henry noted that the campaign team had been prepared to respond quickly to the situation following an incident last week in Iowa when Kaine went missing for several hours after abruptly running off into a cornfield.

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