Tom Perez Warns He Will Detonate Explosive Vest At Midnight Unless Democrats Meet Fundraising Goal

Illustration for article titled Tom Perez Warns He Will Detonate Explosive Vest At Midnight Unless Democrats Meet Fundraising Goal

WASHINGTON—In an effort to boost campaign contributions before election day, Tom Perez warned Friday that he will detonate his explosive vest at midnight unless Democrats meet their fundraising goal. “As the election quickly approaches, we urge our supporters to please act quickly to ensure that I don’t blow myself up in a crowded public place,” said the DNC chair, explaining that even a small donation of $5 or $10 would go a long way toward preventing hundreds of lives being senselessly lost in a preventable suicide bombing. “Without your monetary support, Biden and vulnerable Democratic senators are at risk of being turned to a smoldering pile of ash and bone.” At press time, Perez’s threat to kill himself if the goal was not met had caused DNC donations to drop significantly.

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