WASHINGTON—In response to the 15 individuals who have come forward alleging sexual misconduct by the president, Donald Trump reportedly dismissed his accusers Tuesday as women. “Anyone can see that these disgraceful and false allegations are clearly coming from total, utter women,” said Trump, adding that those claiming he groped, fondled, and forcibly kissed them “absolutely know that they’re female” and that “everyone else knows they are, too.” “These are obvious women we’re dealing with, okay? Each and every one of them. It’s a shame that anyone can be such an undeniable woman and just get away with it.” Trump went on to say that many of the people supporting his accusers had no credibility either because they’re just as much women as the accusers themselves.

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