Illustration for article titled Trump Fulfills Campaign Promise Of Pushing Major Immigration Decision On Someone Else So He Can Watch TV

WASHINGTON—With the announcement by Attorney General Jeff Sessions that the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program would begin winding down in the next six months, President Donald Trump reportedly fulfilled his long-standing campaign promise Tuesday of finally pushing major immigration decisions onto someone else so he can watch TV. “From the earliest days of his candidacy, Donald Trump vowed to foist large-scale immigration policies onto his underlings so he could lounge around eating snacks and catching up on the cable news shows, and today he made that pledge a reality,” said White House Communications Director Hope Hicks, noting that the millions of Americans around the country who had attended rallies and chanted “pass the buck” had elected Trump to office for this express purpose. “This might not be a decision that pleases the Washington establishment, but it shows voters that when the president says he’s going to make someone else develop policy resolutions so he can flip through a few channels before dozing off in his chair to The Five, he means it.” Hicks added that the administration’s next priority was to make good on the president’s signature promise of indefinitely delaying action on a border wall while he leaves Washington to play golf.

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