HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying the Republican nominee exhibited just the qualities they were looking for in the country’s next leader, viewers throughout the nation reported Monday night that they were impressed by how male Donald Trump appeared throughout the first debate. “Just the way he carried himself up there on the debate stage, Trump definitely came off very male tonight,” said Amarillo, TX resident Brad Miller, adding that he was repeatedly struck by Trump’s body language, behavior, and vocal characteristics, which he said imbued the candidate with a distinctive male air that he found reassuring. “He conducted himself in an extremely male manner all night long regardless of the topic he was discussing, and that definitely resonated with me. I can easily see him being male for the next four years.” Viewers admitted that while Hillary Clinton seemed intelligent and capable throughout the debate, she failed to project the suitable male demeanor necessary to hold the Oval Office.
More from The Onion