FARMVILLE, VA—Seeking a brief respite from the unpredictable and unprecedented circumstances of the 2016 presidential election, voters across the country reportedly tuned into the vice presidential debate Tuesday night to find out what the race would have looked like if this were a normal election year. “After everything we’ve seen and heard this year, it’s going to be kind of a nice change of pace to turn on the VP debate tonight and watch a couple stiff, gray-haired politicians deliver canned answers in a restrained tone of voice like this was a regular presidential election,” said Prescott, AZ voter Juan Morales, 51, who, like millions of other citizens, expressed interest in catching a brief glimpse of the kind of by-the-numbers race the country would be in the midst of right now if this were almost any other time in American history. “Nobody’s going to be yelling or going on wild tangents about the other candidate’s personal life, and there certainly won’t be any talk of breaking down any historic social barriers. Just two nearly indistinguishable old men saying fairly measured things and trying to avoid gaffes. Boy, it’s going to bring back a lot of memories of all the other presidential races in my lifetime.” The nation’s voters added that, given how tonight’s exchange would assuredly unfold like a normal presidential debate from any other election season, they were looking forward to losing interest halfway through and changing the channel to something else.

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