WASHINGTON—Promising that they had learned their lesson and would not fall into the same traps they did in the last presidential election cycle, the U.S. populace vowed Wednesday not to repeat the errors of 2016, while, at the same time, nearly every American voter continued to use the internet. “We’re not going to make those mistakes again—not in 2020, not ever,” said Cleveland resident Jerry Van Buskirk, one of 328 million U.S. residents who still spends hours each day scrolling through various social media platforms and consuming either news tailored by algorithms to magnify his pre-existing biases or outright disinformation aimed at duping him. “We refuse to allow a clickbait-driven journalism industry that privileges scandal and controversy over facts and nuance to shape our discourse. Our democracy is too important.” At press time, sources confirmed the nation had taken to social media to spread its message.

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