Wealthiest Americans Ominously Remind Nation They Could Easily Drop Another $10 Billion On Election

Illustration for article titled Wealthiest Americans Ominously Remind Nation They Could Easily Drop Another $10 Billion On Election

WASHINGTON—Calmly stating that they would not even need to think twice about doing so, the nation’s wealthiest individuals ominously reminded the populace during a press conference Wednesday that they could easily drop another $10 billion on the 2016 election. “We want to make it completely clear to voters that there’s absolutely no reason—none at all—why we couldn’t shell out another $10 billion between now and next November,” said casino magnate Sheldon Adelson on behalf of the top tenth of a percent of income-earners in the U.S., adding that creating dozens of new and extremely well-funded super PACs would mean practically nothing to them. “Trust me, we’ve got plenty to throw around, so it really wouldn’t be a problem. We could spread it around a bunch of congressional races, or, heck, we could put it all on one presidential candidate—it doesn’t really affect us much either way. Why don’t we toss in a billion right now just to give you a taste?” The nation’s wealthiest families then added that they would have no problem repeating the process for the next 30 election cycles before silently walking off the stage.

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