Illustration for article titled What Obama Hopes To Accomplish Before Leaving The White House

On January 20, President Barack Obama’s second term will draw to a close, ending his role as a world leader. Here are some items Obama still hopes to accomplish before leaving office:

Stay up all night and watch the sunrise with entire cabinet

Make sure “killed Osama bin Laden” displayed prominently on résumé

Few more weeks of attempting to convince us that our differences make us stronger


Defeat ISIS, pass immigration reform, repair broken criminal justice system, secure peace throughout Middle East

Re-rack eight years’ worth of strewn dumbbells

Mercifully kill Obamacare before Republicans have opportunity to slowly gut it

Take Merrick Garland out for drink

Rally community to put on show that will save the Tumblebrook Playhouse from demolition


Leave White House staff with detailed list of each predator drone’s individual needs


Get a few things off his chest in final press conference


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