Who Is Tim Kaine?

Illustration for article titled Who Is Tim Kaine?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine:


Nat Kaine—an active duty infantry officer in the United States Marine Corps—and two others


Previous Occupation:

Prospective vice presidential candidate

Years Spent Sort Of Blending Into Scenery:


Religious Views:

Weird kind of Catholic where you don’t let it affect your political decision-making


It’s becoming increasingly clear this doesn’t matter

Favorite Food:


Relationship To Banks:

Committed, long-term

Childhood Dream:

To help shore up support among conservative Democrats and secure a pivotal swing state

Biggest Strength:

Can speak Spanish almost as well as the many actual Hispanic candidates Clinton could have chosen


Biggest Liability:

As Virginia governor, appointed Robert Bloxom as State Secretary of Agriculture and Forestry, and look how that shit-for-brains fucked everything up


Volunteer Work:

Has worked as missionary converting Hondurans and, more recently, undecided voters


Political Positions:

Please refer to HillaryClinton.com