‘You Have Disappointed Me,’ Trump Tells Room Full Of Supporters While Strapping On Gas Mask

Illustration for article titled ‘You Have Disappointed Me,’ Trump Tells Room Full Of Supporters While Strapping On Gas Mask

WASHINGTON—Pacing slowly back and forth as he delivered his words, President Donald Trump reportedly told a room full of his supporters, “You have disappointed me” Wednesday while strapping on a gas mask. “The only thing I ever asked of you was your support, and indeed you’ve failed me at that,” said Trump, securing the military-grade breathing device in place as the sound of a click and hiss broke the stunned silence and a dark, noxious fume engulfed the terrified crowd. “You’ve followed me through the dawn of my rise and my darkest hours, and I always counted you among my most loyal disciples. But now I can see my trust was misplaced. I can’t believe I put faith in your obedience. You’re weak—all of you, weak.” At press time, Trump slowly headed for the exit, treading over the mass of still, silent bodies on the floor with a crunch.

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